My experience counseling thousands of couples has taught me that the success of any romantic relationship depends more on what the smitten one expects to happen than what actually happens. People see depictions of romance on the big screen, and nothing in their life compares to those Celebrities and Fairy book versions of false love.
So one ponders and thinks, is my own relationship really okay? Should I be satisfied with staying single and just have sex with men or women were I go? Or consider what I have? Is it real love or lust? Problem is most men and women don't necessarily think their sinful behavior or what they have is wrong; they just wonder if it's right?
I’m posing the tuff questions about love in a survey designed, conducted, and analyzed by The Research For Relationships with over 100 Professionals in their fields, mainly, specialist in marriage and sexual relationships with a minimum criteria of studies exclusively in marriage psychology for a minimum of 20 years or longer!
An amazing 87,000 people responded. The answers ranged from the romantic ("95 percent say they'd marry their true love rather than a billionaire") to the pragmatic (over 78 percent say you can have more than one true love ("sinful and lust'); 88 percent say you can't have more than one at the same time). Here are some highlights:
87,000 - Only 10% claimed being straight sexually and claimed to be Christian or a belief in the higher power, GOD that are waiting for their true love! ('results at end of my blog")
From The 10% = 8,700 my survey was broken down as followed -> "seeking the crème of the crop";
Is This Love?
We describe the start of new romance as "falling" in love. Fall: verb, to go from high to lower ground, usually in an out-of-control fashion. Hmm, it's also a word we use to describe times when we've been suckered, as in, "I was so stupid to fall for that!" So can we predict early on whether we're headed for a soft landing or a rough ride?
I'd say no. I don't agree with the 95 percent who say that true love is recognizable immediately or within six months. It takes time and context to know whether a partnership has legs. Only after you've been through hard times—you've had a rip-roaring fight; cleaned up after him when he had the flu; met his brother, father, and mother (who didn't particularly like you), lost money in a horse race, lost your job and home together—and you still feel committed, do you know there may be roots to your relationship?
At the Heart of It
Not surprisingly, romance is central to our definition of love: Ninety-four percent respond that giving flowers, holding hands, or taking your partner for a night out are hallmarks of love (only 6 percent say those are signs of guilt or duty). Yet almost two-thirds also characterize mundane chores such as taking out the trash, bathing the kids, or doing the dishes as acts of love. What these actions say to your mate is, I want your life to be better, and I'll make personal sacrifices to ensure that.
Our respondents don't appear to be materialistic or superficial. As noted above, money isn't a factor, and appearance doesn't seem to matter, either—a whopping 82 percent wouldn't love their partner any less if he or she gained 100 pounds. That stops that myth that weight is a factor.
Everyone polled above said that Honesty, listening, giving, respect, and tenderness were words that those polled most clearly associate with love. And that seems right to me. Each of those terms has a strong sense of cooperation. The core element of true love is that you feel like you belong; romantics call it having a soul mate.
To Cheat or Not to Cheat
At first glance, it appears that our respondents take fidelity very seriously—an astounding 92 percent say they wouldn't be unfaithful even if their partner would never find out. But 66% say they have cheated on someone because of not being sexually satisfied. The discrepancy has to do with the fact that people don't plan to be unfaithful. It's only after they get into a relationship and their needs aren't being met—they don't feel accepted—that they search to fill the void. Most people who have affairs are living an emotional divorce and just haven't filled out the paperwork yet. They become desperate, bitter, and liable to make serious mistakes now being called FWB - friends with benefits or NSA- No Strings Attached sexual booty call friends wherever they go that really is a sin and lustful act of selfishness instead of committing again they go through all the mental emotions blocking and dealing with their prior breakup to avoid another painful mate by sexual activity with who they feel only comfortable with, let it be female or male, its known and called denial...
Sex by the Numbers
Those of you who are having sex (more than sixty-six percent do at least once a month) give it a high rating (75 percent say totally fulfilling or mostly satisfying). with only the person they involved with!
Endless Love?
The jury's out on the question of love's longevity: A slim majority (56 percent) says that true love can die, but a significant 44 percent disagree. More conclusively, 94 percent say that the fading of sexual desire does not mean love is over. Listen, people change, and their needs change (perhaps that explains your lack of interest in reconnecting with your first love—88 percent would choose not to, if given the chance). The jury may be out, but if I'm the judge, I'd rule that absolutely, love can die if the both of you do not move in the same direction and shoot for the stars. Planting the seeds of true love is one thing. But if you don't tend the garden and grow your relationship, it dies; it will soon be consumed by weeds.
Prescription for a Flickering Flame
Almost two-thirds of those surveyed say if their partner is insensitive, it's because he doesn't know their needs. Well, then tell him what you need! Hit the eject button on the belief that "if I have to tell you, then it doesn't count." That's not true. Considerate behavior can still come from the heart, even though it may not have been your partner's idea. Give the old boy a chance. Get involved and ask for what you want. Be willing to seduce your mate, and be willing to be seduced again. What better time to start than Valentine's Day?
Falling in Love is real and this is this what the Top 10% - 8,700 couples said about their relations that worked;
1. GOD, Religious or Spiritual beliefs appeared to be at the heart and core in maintain a long-term relationship let it be in believing in GOD or not believing in GOD for its interesting to observe and say that those that share the same spiritual belief’s together have a greater chance at a long-term term relationship that moves in and towards the same direction
* Also, 5,000 one attended church on a regular basis, and the other did not;
95% ended up in divorce within 2 years!
* * The Couples Who Pray Together Really Do Stay Together - The Top 10% - 8.700 couples attend church on a regular basis and pray daily together!
2. Family Values; Almost all the Top 8,700 couples had another thing in common and of value. FAMILY..those with close relationships to both their parents and children were amongst the Top that proved a worthy mix with GOD!
GOD + FAMILY VALUES = Means 99.9% Values, morale’s and respect for the other while involved leading to Long-term relationship....begins upfront!
3. Career - Professional and occupation most defiantly made a difference in the Tops survey. It appeared that either both had business's that the each of them were together with and/or if they did not have business ties together then one or the other made them self’s available to the other to commit and spend quality time, that is required to maintain any relationship.
68% Had Business Together that allowed each other the chance and opportunity to financially develop each other with each other, instead of outside the work place that has proven to cause temptation with another!
* 88% SURVEY OUTSIDE THE ABOVE 8,700 - Showed that both men and women that worked for another had been either involved with theirs boss, another co-worker, or another outside the work place with temptations to just have a sexual affair... "just because" the opportunity presented itself, or they were not getting what they wanted from home or they have an ongoing secret sexual life outside the home that they say is arousing!
4. What Women Looked For In Her Prince …
A. Affection Women often associate affection with security, comfort, protection and approval. When a man shows his wife affection, he’s sending subliminal messages to her that he’ll take care of her, stand by her and protect her.
B. Conversations When women have intimate conversations with their spouse, it reassures them and make them feel loved and supported. Theirs things only she says and talks with to only her man, and not her girlfriends or male counter parts.
* Pillow talk is good in and outside the bedroom!
C. Honesty and openness A women needs to be able to trust her husband completely. When a man doesn’t maintain an honest, open communication with his wife, he undermines her trust.
D. Financial support many women marry for the financial security their spouse provides. However, it works both way and what we found out amongst the 8,700 which is considered the Top...both move and proceed in the same direction to add financial support to the relation due to the fact that both are operating their businesses together.
E. Family commitment a woman needs her husband to be a good father and to be committed to the family, or accept the children that they do have from prior relations that allow a congenial interaction and support for each other.
5. Emotional Dedication - Women like their man, enjoy making love with only the man God intended them to be with. That couple that thinks like that stays together and True love flourished throughout their relationship that allows the each of them to trust and explore all forms of Kama Sutra Sex;
A. Conventional sexual intercourse - No boundaries to explore almost every position known to man allowed for a great love life whenever the mood strikes, they did it!
B. Oral Sex - It appeared that couples that liked oral sex by giving and receiving were the ultimate orgasm for women. The intimate famous sixty (69) is amongst the Top by almost all the couples in this group, let it be the traditional her on top 69, or the sideways 69 appears to be an arousal for the both of them.
* NOTES: Both committed and dedicated couples say they feel safe and comfortable free from STD -, disease that only enhances their sex drive allowing complete freedom and comfort to explore and satisfy each other.
C. Anal Sex - Almost all these women, 91% liked and enjoyed anal sex and stated that it was an arousal and fantasy with her better half that only can be explained and experienced!
D. Minor Play & No Pain Bondage - Women here loved the fact that their man had private sessions and fantasy designed just for them let it be spanking, flogging, being tied up or gagged or just playing a role with her man that it kept the spark of sex and allows her to totally open up to explore in the bedroom that made it exciting that only kept them wondering what the next session was going to be?
F. Open Relations-Bi-Sexual - 0% !!!! All 8,700 were straight and totally dedicated to only their counterpart.
It’s obvious, In order to find the right and proper person to fall in love, it’s a combination of several things that require the right person at the right place and at the right time. It’s not an easy task to find Prince charming or your Princess for It can be summed up suggest the above examples for your on life, that is if you want your relationship to work the numbers dont lie and its obvious. One has a tendcy to be denial and does not grow or allow the chance or opportunity with opening up unlimited possibility and potential.
" listening, giving, respect, and tenderness were words that those polled most clearly associate with love. And that seems right to me. Each of those terms has a strong sense of cooperation. The core element of true love is that you feel like you belong; romantics call it having a soul mate".
The above is not intended to offend or harm anyone’s feeling, but to rather allow one to become aware of what has worked for the 8,700 couples that are amongst the Top 10% in order for you to find that special someone GOD intended each of us to be with that just may be your best friend and lover for life!
God bless,
KY
